Monday, September 2, 2013


I recently deleted the Facebook app off of my phone and have not missed it once. Occasionally I like to read my newsfeed just to keep up, but even then I get annoyed by the ads and obnoxious game invites. While scrolling through my feed, I found this gem. Someone that I went to high school with decided to update us with her thoughts on the TV show Modern Dads.

Modern dads is a pathetic show. The theme song talks about them at home while the mom works to pay the bills. My theory you are not a man if You as the man of the house can't provide for your family and the female is working to support the family. That's just sad.
Note: 10 people liked this status

Let me start by saying I have not seen this show and nor do I care to. From the comments on this status it seems like most of the show may be scripted. You should also know this is a girl who is married and currently expecting her first child. As if this status wasn't enough, her husband commented this second catastrophe.

The southern tradition is that a man provides for his family unless its a single mother. I believe that the man should provide as much as possible for his family. I'm not going to put it on my wife to have the baby (which I hear is painful) and then her be the sole person responsible for income while I stay at home. Just my opinion.

This is a classic case of sexism and gender roles.
 I JUST recently posted about sexism here. 
There are so many things wrong with this statement. Here are my feelings about this absurd status update and the comment. U is the status update, C is the comment.

 U & C - I'm pretty sure I could find several stay at home moms that would agree with me when I say that staying at home with their kids is a full time job. It consist of more than 40 hours and the mom doesn't get to leave her work and go home. Just because the husband comes home doesn't mean her work is done. (For the record I have no children and never will. So please, stay at home mommies if I am wrong correct me.)

U & C - As for the men, you should know that being at stay at home dad does not make you any less masculine. 

U & C - Providing for your family is not strictly defined by having an income. A family and children need much more than just money. I promise you.

C - Once upon a time women weren't allowed to work. They weren't allowed to vote. Personally, I enjoy the rights I do have as a woman and I'll be damned if I will let ANY man or woman take that shit from me.

C - What defines a single mother? Are you saying that if a man and woman divorce the man doesn't have to "provide" for his family anymore? 

U & C - If I am more educated or more successful than my husband why would I stay home? Should my family suffer financially because society thinks I belong cooking and cleaning? 

C - Being southern does not mean being sexist. I was born and raised in the south and I disagree entirely with everything they both said. Just because I am a woman who refuses to be defined by societies definition of a woman doesn't make me any less southern.

(I'm saving NC politics for another post.)

U - The worst part of this all is possibly that the reason she had these thoughts in the first place is because this is what society taught her. She was raised to believe this. 

I am embarrassed and ashamed that a women would belittle herself so much.

I want you to understand that in no way am I saying a stay at home mom is uneducated, unsuccessful, or belittling herself by staying home. Most women become stay at home mothers because they want to. With the support and agreement of their significant other and the financial capability they agree it is better for the children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. My point is that the woman should have the choice, and the man should be comfortable taking on this role may it become an option. 

I also realize that some women stay at home because its cheaper than paying for daycare. If one of the parents income was the amount of money daycare for a year would cost, then why wouldn't you weigh your options? Sounds like common sense to me. 

PLEASE, tell me your thoughts. 
I am extremely curious to see what everyone has to say.
If you enjoyed this post check out my friend Kaitlin. 
She wrote about feminism here. and street harassment here. She had some really great things to say!

Linked up here, here, and here.


  1. Whew! First of all thanks for the shout outs!
    Secondly, I don't understand why people get so offended by different views being expressed....does a show about dads staying at home to raise kids really hurt you that much that you have to remind everyone that you're doing it the "right" way? Are you really that insecure about your "manliness?" Buh.

    I'm right there with you about Facebook. It's painful. I love social media in some ways but I think it can be dangerous when it basically gives ignorant people an excuse to spread their ignorance while remaining ignorant - don't try to have a conversation with these people about how they might possibly not be 100% right, you'll be harming their free speech!

  2. I think there are pro's and con's to each side. I'm a SAHM right now. You are right, some daycare places are expensive. I joke with my hubby that if I could make what he was making I'd be out there right now. I am happy I got to spend the time with my kiddos. As mom's and dad's, we should not judge each other for what roles we choose. Everyone has a different opinion and lifestyle. I heard of this show but never watched it.

  3. I love your blog! I started following you on Bloglovin :) I wish that I had the guts to delete my Facebook. I keep it around because of my family but it just seems pointless now. I mean, kids are actually getting diagnosed with things like anxiety because of all the social networking they do.

    Reviews Until You Drop

  4. WOW I am baffled. I don't know where to begin. First off, I don't have a Facebook, and out of the many reasons, this is probably on the top list. Seeing the stupid crap people put. That, plus I didn't get along with ANYONE I went to high school with, lol. As far as the second half... Okay so here is my input. Growing up, I always said I wasn't going to get married. I wasn't going to have kids. I wanted to go to school, work, and let my work be my baby. I wanted to be a successful business woman. Things change, people change. I met my husband and I have never been happier. I am due November 4th with my first baby. I went to school, I had my job, I was good at it, and I quit at 7 weeks pregnant. Why? BECAUSE I WANTED TO. Because after talking to my husband about what's best for our family, we both decided I should stay home. We live in a town with no family, and I don't trust people with my kid. There has been so many things about daycares and teachers lately. It's not a safe world anymore. But this isn't my only reason for wanting to stay home. After I went to school and had the job, and the position I wanted... I got tired. I got bored. I got depressed. Working all day everyday was not something I was into. And that doesn't come to knowledge in just a week. It was months of doing the same thing. I felt like I was meant to do something else, like I shouldn't be at work all day doing something that I honestly ended up not liking. When I found out I was pregnant, all I thought about at work was how I will always be here, and my daughter will always be distant. And some mothers need that distance, that time away from their kids. But I want to be there, for everything. Because my mom was a single parent (meaning she worked, I took care of my brother, and my dad didn't help us out AT ALL) and my mom was gone a lot. I don't blame her for anything. I don't blame my dad, if he wanted to bail then he can bail. I am just saying its MY decision that I want to be there for my daughter and give her everything I didn't have.

    It doesn't make me feel like less of a mother that I am not making any money. It doesn't make me feel less of a wife. I clean. I cook. I like it that way. My husband wasn't the one who told me to do this. I chose it. My husband actually was worried about me not working, and if we could make it. Things will be tight but no where does it say that I HAVE to be working because he wants me to. Or I DON'T have to. It was a decision we both made, and it had nothing to do with sexism or anything like that.

    If something happened to my husband's job, then I would probably be the "bread winner" for awhile and my husband would have to stay home with our daughter. And I wouldn't have a problem with that until we found out what to do. We do what we have to do, not because someone tells us we can or can't.

    Sorry that was long :)

    ♥, Brittney @ True Vintage Love

  5. This post made me incredibly happy in the sense that I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. It makes me so mad that people are like this. I moved to Orange County when I was 12 and have been here more or less ever since...I can't tell you how many people I know who went to school to get their MRS. Degree.

  6. facebook makes me dislike people on an daily basis! i need to delete it too but i am too addicted :(


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