OLD SPONGES AND CHIPOTLE

Let's talk about saving money, because quite frankly I am one of the cheapest people on the planet. But really, I am the kind of person that goes to the dollar store, buys a sponge and then I'm mad three days later when its tearing and falling apart. And then two weeks later I am walking into the same dollar tree with the same intentions as before, as if I forgot that the 50 cents I saved on that sponge wasn't worth the hassle and anger. 

With that being said, I have found much better ways to save money AND save time. Here's a list - and by putting them in a list I am saving you time, so you can just thank me later. 

1. When you visit a place like Chipotle or Subway, take the time to learn the order of their questions. By telling them your order in the sequence they prefer it speeds up the process and makes the employees happy because you make their job easier. In turn, they become more generous with their chicken portions and you walk out of there with a burrito big enough to feed your entire apartment complex at the Fourth of July cookout. 

2. Go days without checking your mail. Just let that stuff pile up in the mailbox. After about a week, make that hike and then take it straight to the trash can outside. You've saved time by not going to the mailbox every day and you save money by throwing out all those bills. YOLO. You do run the risk of pissing of the mailman and having your electricity cut off but what are e-bills for anyways. Use the internet to your full advantage.

3. You know those underwear that stay at the bottom of the drawer because they've either been ruined by that god awful present we get once a month or because they just don't make your butt look great.. (This is obviously for us girls) well just wear them. Let's be real, no one is going to see your underwear on Monday when you've spent the entire day at work thinking about the glass of wine you're going to have along with a Netflix binge of gossip girl. You spend less time washing clothes and less money on laundry detergent - and we all know how expensive that shit is. 

4. Cut those corners! When you are shopping at Target and are like me you always walk out with way more than you ever went in for. So before you go in, brainstorm and come up with the perfect route throughout the store in order to get exactly what you need. Then once you're inside, cut the corners sharp, and cut through places like the vitamin isle. (Because only responsible adults and old people buy vitamins) Now you have gotten exactly what you needed on your list aka saving money and by cutting through those isles you've saved time. 

5. Join the dollar shave club. I really shouldn't have to explain myself on this one, but I will just in case you haven't heard of them yet. For either $1, $6, or $9 a month (shipping included) they send razors straight to your door. And girls let's be honest here, we have all used our boyfriends razor at some point and it worked a hell of a lot better than any razor I ever bought promising the smoothest legs anyone has ever seen. Not to mention the more decent ones can cost up to 15 or 20 bucks just for the cartridges. BYE. I'm mad just thinking about the money 15 year old me spent trying to impress those gross boys at the pool party. And if I wasn't a 23 year old child living alone with her 8 pound dog then I would buy this as a gift for my man friend.

So stop wasting time, make those Chipotle employees happy, and enjoy those smooth legs and faces. And try not to knock anything off the shelves at target when cutting those corners.. those employees don't like it very much when you just pick up speed and keep walking.. I would imagine anyways ;)

To learn more about the dollar shave club, visit their web side HERE. and please tell me this video isn't the funniest thing you've seen all day.. 

* Dollar Shave Club did not pay me for this post. All opinions expressed are completely mine and I wrote because I wanted to, damnit.